Finally an Interview with the Prime Minister

Last night I had the following dream which I thought I would share with you. I know some of you will find it funny but not others.

So I dreamt that I was a reporter working for one of the media houses in Jamaica and had a chance to seek answers to some burning issues from our Prime Minister.

 

Jay : Madam Prime Minister, thanks for taking some time off from working, working to answer a few questions than have been on the minds of Jamaicans .  Firstly, why do you refuse to speak with the media on national issues?

PM : Young man you are a young man and may not know this, but I have been in representational politics before you were born, so I know what I am doing.  I have been working, working, working to improve the lives of the poor, so I really have not got the time to be talking ,talking, talking.

Jay : But with all due respect Madame Prime Minister, the country would like to hear from you from time to time on what you are working on and how those will improve the lives of Jamaicans.

PM : I have a cabinet and cabinet ministers, it’s their job to work on the issues and respond to and report on the issues. I am not planning to do the work of my cabinet ministers.

Jay : Madame Prime Minister, it is said that the previous Prime Minister was accessible via radio talkshows, interviews etc, so why have you not taken a similar route.

PM : I will not talk myself out of office.

Jay : Madame Prime Minister, what have you got to say about the runaway crime situation in Jamaica, murders are once again on the rise and lawlessness have taken over.

PM: Hear me hear but mi nuh care.

Jay : Can you repeat that Madame Prime Minister

PM: I have a capable Minister in charge of that Portfoio, he will be bringing new legislation to parliament to address this crime problem, so let’s not jump the gun, hear what he has to say.

Jay : Madame Prime Minister, it is said that your Minister of Energy has done a hatchet job on the LNG and 360MW plant and should be removed from the project all together, how do you respond

PM: Hear me hear but mi nuh care. The Minister has my full support and will remain in that job.

Jay: Madame Prime Minister, Bruce Golding during a lecture series in the USA last week said, the IMF program being pursued itself, will not bring about growth in the economy, how do you respond

PM : Hear mi hear but mi nuh care.  He was there, he failed to do what was necessary despite his good speech and eloquence, where is he today. I have every confidence in my Finance Minister and he has my full support.

Jay : Madame Prime Minister, it is widely felt that Dr Peter Phillips does not have your full support. We note that you have only left him in charge on Government on one occasion only and not wanting him to be in charge of the country of the country in a crises,  you hurried back home. It is felt in some circles that you feared Peter may have shined.

PM: Young man, hear mi hear but mi nuh care. That is nonsense; my sole intention was to ensure I am in the country, when the country is in trouble. Remaining overseas in a time like that would have been highly irresponsible.

Jay : Madame PM it said you only leave people in charge of the country in your absence ne who have no leadership ambitions in the party, how do you respond.

PM: Hear me hear but mi nuh care. People can talk all they want; I have no time to listen rubbish.

Jay : Madame Prime Minister, we are going through tough times but yet it is said you are travelling more now with an economic and crime hurricane sweeping across Jamaica. This despite what you said above about wanting to be in Jamaica in a crises and not leaving that up to your ministers.

PM : Are you suggesting the I as Prime Minister cancel every trip due to what is taking place here  in Jamaica, that would be madness.  These trips are not for pleasure they are all business as I try to generate a renewed interest in Jamaica and hopefully boost investment in the country.

Jay: Madame PM , the recent business and consumer confidence report, showed a general decline in the confidence of both groups , to the second lowest level on record, how do you respond.

PM : Hear me hear but mi nuh care. 

Jay : Madame Prime Minister, it is said you have failed to protect the interest of the poor despite your many speeches in this regard, how would you respond.

PM : Hear me hear but mi nuh care.

Jay : How can you say that Madame Prime Minister

PM : Have you heard any of the poor people saying that, it’s you people in the media that is saying these things, on social media, like twitter and facebook. I don’t hear poor people complaining when I go out on the streets. In fact the people show me nothing but love and affection.

Jay : Madame PM, it is felt in some circles that the reason you refuse to appear on radio or television interviews is due to the fact that you are not in touch with the pressing issues in Jamaica and instead prefer to read from prepared text, how do you respond.

PM: Hear me hear but mi nuh care. I cannot afford to make social media dictate when I speak and to whom I speak. I will speak when there is a need to speak, end of story.

Jay: Madame Prime Minister, it is felt that you have failed to lead thus far despite the enormous amount of political capital given to you by the electorate, how do you respond.

PM : Hear mi hear but mi nuh care.  I am the Prime Minister and not the Opposition leader and there is a reason for that. The people talking about my leadership abilities are largely failures, if you want to know about my leadership skills you ask ordinary Jamaicans.

Jay: Madame Prime Minister, the country is said to be headed in the wrong direction, how do  you respond

PM : Hear me hear but mi nuh care.

Jay : Thank you madame Prime Minister for talking to us

PM : You are welcome, son.

Brrrrrrrrr , damn its morning already, time to get up and go to work.

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2 Responses

  1. This is hilarious, but I think you hit the nail on the head.

  2. Really funny. You had all the right questions for her. Her responses were exactly as I thought. She deserves a gold medal to reach to the highest office in the land.

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